I think that my memoir would appeal to both young and not so young women. It really is how I learned to come to terms with life and find myself before I could find true love. I hope that it will reach many women who might find themselves in my book and maybe learn how not to make the mistakes I made or how I had to meet the challenges that life presented to me and find the strength to carry on. A memoir of 70 some years has a little bit of almost everything emotional in it.
I agree! Something I learned about marketing is that while of course most books (and products in general) have a wide target audience, it’s always best to target your campaign at a very specific person. The advice I got was to write a profile of your ideal reader: her age, likes, dislikes, etc. Of course that doesn’t mean she’s the ONLY person who will like your book! But the more specific you get, the more focused and successful the marketing campaign will be.
Once Tiffany arrived at school, shortly before the first bell rang, it was time for Noel to set his prank in motion. He gulped down the unicorn tears, making himself invisible for the next hour.
Noel looked down at his hands as his skin, muscles, tissues, and bones faded away to nothing. He sprinted to the boys’ bathroom mirror just as the last tuft of his auburn hair disappeared.
“This is awesome! Like InvisiGlow, but cooler.”
His prank plan started with Tiffany’s first period Math quiz.
As Noel predicted, Tiffany arrived in the classroom five minutes earlier than everyone else. She sat in her chair, setting all her pencils, papers, and a calculator on her desk. Fixing the blue beret on her head, Tiffany checked her compact mirror to make sure it was on correctly. She’d managed to get out most of Noel’s EZ Wash blue dye except for her hairline and fingernails.
Noel waited until Tiffany got all her stationery perfectly lined up before knocking them all down to the ground with his invisible hands. He grabbed his cellphone to capture the moment.
“Anyone there?” Cowering next to her chair, Tiffany looked around and saw a cellphone hovering in mid-air. “How is that even possible?” She tried to swipe at the floating cellphone but quickly switched to picking up the fallen items when the rest of the class strolled in with chatters and whispers. But by the time she looked up again, the cellphone was gone.
Even when the Math teacher Mr. Lee entered the classroom and the quiz began, Noel didn’t stop his invisible shenanigans. He ramped it up; erasing Tiffany’s answers as she wrote them, writing his name instead of her own, and pressing several buttons on her calculator.
Mr. Lee stood up from his desk. “Is everything okay, Tiffany?”
“Yes Sir, everything’s fine.”
But everything was not fine. Mr. Lee sat back down, overlooking Tiffany’s rapid breaths, shaking foot, and blue-stained fingernails digging into the desk. And thanks to Noel and his unicorn tears, Tiffany failed her Math quiz.
As soon as the invisibility effect wore off, Noel positioned himself next to Tiffany’s locker to gloat. “Hey Tiff, how was your Math quiz?”
She pivoted around him and opened her locker. “Fine.”
“Oh really?” He showed her the pics he took on his cellphone. “Then explain these.”
“That looks like the same cellphone…” She gasped. “How on earth did you get those?”
“Let’s just say, I took my pranking to astronaut proportions.”
“Astronaut, huh?” Tiffany shook her head, dumping her Math textbook into the locker. “I think you mean astronomical, Einstein.”
Noel shrugged. “Got my reference, didn’t you? So, who’s the fool?”
“Still you.” Tiffany grabbed her second period science textbook and held it close to her chest. “Let me get this straight… instead of using your hours wisely to revise—or in your case, cram—for your Math quiz later today, you decide to prank me? Even though studying means you could actually end up with a high letter grade for once? Well, I hope it was worth it.”
“Absolutely,” Noel said with a grin. “And the next one will be even better.”
“The next one?” Tiffany slammed her locker shut. “I’m still scrubbing blue dye from under my fingernails after your last prank.” Her jaw clenched as she gripped her textbook. “Have you read The Count of Monte Cristo?”
“Why would I read an entire book on my grandma’s favorite shortening?”
“Cristo, not Crisco! If you did, you’d know what’s coming. So take note, because today revenge is on the horizon.”
As Tiffany stormed off, Noel jogged to his locker a few doors down, eager to drink more of the unicorn tears elixir. However, when he swung open the door, a piece of paper fell out, which read:
Use unicorn tears once and I’ll get your scent,
Use unicorn tears twice and I won’t relent.
Noel let out a nervous chuckle. “This must be a joke, right?” He looked around the nearly-empty hallway as the second period school bell rang. “Tiffany mentions a note and then I just happen to find one in my locker? This is obviously her trying to scare me… but it’s not gonna work.”
Ignoring the ominous note, Noel drank another shot of unicorn tears.
After checking to make sure he turned invisible in the boys’ bathroom mirror, Noel entered Tiffany’s science class.
Messing with pencils, papers, and calculators were a cool trick. But a prank involving glass beakers, lab equipment, and chemicals would be epic.
Noel spotted Tiffany’s desk, not too far from the doorway, as she threw on her lab coat and protective eye glasses.
Walking over there, Noel meant to disrupt her station when an eerie whistle sounded behind him. He jumped and quickly noticed that nobody else did, including Tiffany.
Can no one else hear that? Noel thought. He spun around, faced with a gaunt man dressed in tattered cowboy clothes perched on an equally-emaciated horned horse blocking the doorway.
The Whistler.
Noel expected some kind of reaction from Tiffany and her science classmates but they were preoccupied with their school work.
Only when the science teacher Mr. Diaz arrived, passing through the undead cowboy and his cadaverous unicorn en route to the lab, did Noel get a bit spooked.
The Whistler brought a skeletal finger up, pointing directly at Noel. “Use unicorn tears once and I’ll get your scent, use unicorn tears twice and I won’t relent.” His deep voice made the glass beakers in the lab vibrate.
Still, no reaction from Tiffany or the science class.
Weird… those are the same words my locker note had, Noel thought. He kept the Whistler in his line of sight, zeroing in on the creature’s skull head—that followed him everywhere—and the two gaping nose holes making loud sniffing noises. Red dots embedded in the Whistler’s eye sockets peered into Noel’s soul. As the creature got closer, Noel couldn’t believe his eyes: Poking out of the Whistler’s rib cage were what looked like bony fingers.
Nevertheless, Noel was determined to finish his prank, regardless of the consequences. He couldn’t afford to waste any more time when his invisibility could wear off at any moment.
But as soon as Noel reached Tiffany’s desk, the Whistler clicked his tongue, urging his undead unicorn to ride on. As Noel looked up, the two were heading towards him at full speed.
Noel weighed his options: Would the Whistler hurt him or pass through him like Mr. Diaz? At the last minute, Noel chickened out, dashing through the doorway and sprinting down the hall with the Whistler in hot pursuit.
While Tiffany and the rest of the school went about their usual day, Noel dodged the Whistler, moving from building to building.
“This has been such a great adventure,” Noel said, giddy with excitement. “It’s like my favorite comic book come to life!” He ran past the swimming pool area, bumping into Coach Boone.
“No running in the hallway, Noel,” he snapped.
Noel waved his hands in front of the swim coach’s face. “You can see me, Coach?”
His invisibility must’ve worn off and the Whistler was nowhere in sight.
“Of course I can!” Coach Boone swatted Noel’s hand away. “Which reminds me, there was a blue dye incident last Friday with the swim team; I was told you’re responsible…”
“Have no idea what you’re talking about, Coach.” Noel backed away slowly. “Besides, that prank took place at the butt crack of dawn, have you ever seen me at school before nine a.m.?”
Coach Boone stroked the stubble on his chin. “Come to think of it, no.”
“Well, there you go.”
As Noel bent around the hallway corner, he ran right into Tiffany and the swim team.
“I told you your silly pranks would come back to bite you, Noel.” Tiffany crossed her arms. “And that day has finally come.”
“Oh please! Coach Boone just cleared my name.” Noel grinned from ear to ear. “But if you really think I’m guilty, then you have to catch me.”
“That shouldn’t be too difficult,” Tiffany said with a shrug. “Every school exit is blocked; you can’t leave without running into one of your previous prank victims who are all dying to see you get your comeuppance—myself included. School president does have its privileges.”
Noel smirked. “So, what you’re saying is… the only way to escape would be if I were invisible, right?”
“Hmm, not exactly the reaction I was expecting.” Tiffany raised an eyebrow. “But okay, sure.”
While no one was looking, Noel snuck to his locker and drank the last of the unicorn tears. Turning invisible, he successfully slipped out from the school, undetected.
Unfortunately when Noel arrived home and entered his basement bedroom, the Whistler was waiting for him. “My unicorn’s tears have been shed for the final time, as only when invisible can I punish you for your crime.”
Hearing this, Noel’s green eyes widened. “Those were your unicorn’s tears? I didn’t know! That witch girl made it seem like it was hers. That’s not my fault, why should I be punished? I’ll just wipe it off, okay? No need for punishment.” He scrubbed his freckled skin raw with a towel but his attempt to get the unicorn tears to wear off faster were to no avail.
Cracking sounds rang out in the bedroom as the Whistler’s rib bones broke loose and separated from the center breast bone. Noel’s feet were rooted to the shaggy carpet; his leg muscles tightening to the rhythm of the veins pulsing in his neck. The rib cage flew open like a Venus fly trap snapping Noel out of his haze who dashed for his bedroom door.
Inside the Whistler’s rib cage something glowed, yanking Noel backwards—the suction too strong and too powerful for him to escape.
Noel screamed and held onto the shaggy carpet as his gangly legs lifted into the air. The Whistler’s rib cage sucked him into its undead bones before the creature’s torso sealed itself shut, entombing a horrified Noel inside.
As the skeletal unicorn rode away, Noel gripped the rib bones of his perpetual cage, his hand’s skin, muscles, and tissue faded away, revealing his bones underneath; eternally fusing him with the Whistler.
Such great feedback, Michelle! Can't wait to work on these! Love the tip about foreshadowing Tiffany's plot to get Noel trapped by his own prank victims, so clever! Also, love that the Whistler came out as I envisioned (scary af indeed). And don't worry, if my revisions go well, he should appear in 2 more future short stories. As for his own book idea, perhaps I should write an origin story to use as a reader magnet?
Thank you, Michelle
I think that my memoir would appeal to both young and not so young women. It really is how I learned to come to terms with life and find myself before I could find true love. I hope that it will reach many women who might find themselves in my book and maybe learn how not to make the mistakes I made or how I had to meet the challenges that life presented to me and find the strength to carry on. A memoir of 70 some years has a little bit of almost everything emotional in it.
Thank you for your great advice!
I agree! Something I learned about marketing is that while of course most books (and products in general) have a wide target audience, it’s always best to target your campaign at a very specific person. The advice I got was to write a profile of your ideal reader: her age, likes, dislikes, etc. Of course that doesn’t mean she’s the ONLY person who will like your book! But the more specific you get, the more focused and successful the marketing campaign will be.
Had to post Noel's revisions without the final limerick because I maxed out Substack's word count! Ahh, the annoyance of Noel's continues lol :)
Once Tiffany arrived at school, shortly before the first bell rang, it was time for Noel to set his prank in motion. He gulped down the unicorn tears, making himself invisible for the next hour.
Noel looked down at his hands as his skin, muscles, tissues, and bones faded away to nothing. He sprinted to the boys’ bathroom mirror just as the last tuft of his auburn hair disappeared.
“This is awesome! Like InvisiGlow, but cooler.”
His prank plan started with Tiffany’s first period Math quiz.
As Noel predicted, Tiffany arrived in the classroom five minutes earlier than everyone else. She sat in her chair, setting all her pencils, papers, and a calculator on her desk. Fixing the blue beret on her head, Tiffany checked her compact mirror to make sure it was on correctly. She’d managed to get out most of Noel’s EZ Wash blue dye except for her hairline and fingernails.
Noel waited until Tiffany got all her stationery perfectly lined up before knocking them all down to the ground with his invisible hands. He grabbed his cellphone to capture the moment.
“Anyone there?” Cowering next to her chair, Tiffany looked around and saw a cellphone hovering in mid-air. “How is that even possible?” She tried to swipe at the floating cellphone but quickly switched to picking up the fallen items when the rest of the class strolled in with chatters and whispers. But by the time she looked up again, the cellphone was gone.
Even when the Math teacher Mr. Lee entered the classroom and the quiz began, Noel didn’t stop his invisible shenanigans. He ramped it up; erasing Tiffany’s answers as she wrote them, writing his name instead of her own, and pressing several buttons on her calculator.
Mr. Lee stood up from his desk. “Is everything okay, Tiffany?”
“Yes Sir, everything’s fine.”
But everything was not fine. Mr. Lee sat back down, overlooking Tiffany’s rapid breaths, shaking foot, and blue-stained fingernails digging into the desk. And thanks to Noel and his unicorn tears, Tiffany failed her Math quiz.
As soon as the invisibility effect wore off, Noel positioned himself next to Tiffany’s locker to gloat. “Hey Tiff, how was your Math quiz?”
She pivoted around him and opened her locker. “Fine.”
“Oh really?” He showed her the pics he took on his cellphone. “Then explain these.”
“That looks like the same cellphone…” She gasped. “How on earth did you get those?”
“Let’s just say, I took my pranking to astronaut proportions.”
“Astronaut, huh?” Tiffany shook her head, dumping her Math textbook into the locker. “I think you mean astronomical, Einstein.”
Noel shrugged. “Got my reference, didn’t you? So, who’s the fool?”
“Still you.” Tiffany grabbed her second period science textbook and held it close to her chest. “Let me get this straight… instead of using your hours wisely to revise—or in your case, cram—for your Math quiz later today, you decide to prank me? Even though studying means you could actually end up with a high letter grade for once? Well, I hope it was worth it.”
“Absolutely,” Noel said with a grin. “And the next one will be even better.”
“The next one?” Tiffany slammed her locker shut. “I’m still scrubbing blue dye from under my fingernails after your last prank.” Her jaw clenched as she gripped her textbook. “Have you read The Count of Monte Cristo?”
“Why would I read an entire book on my grandma’s favorite shortening?”
“Cristo, not Crisco! If you did, you’d know what’s coming. So take note, because today revenge is on the horizon.”
As Tiffany stormed off, Noel jogged to his locker a few doors down, eager to drink more of the unicorn tears elixir. However, when he swung open the door, a piece of paper fell out, which read:
Use unicorn tears once and I’ll get your scent,
Use unicorn tears twice and I won’t relent.
Noel let out a nervous chuckle. “This must be a joke, right?” He looked around the nearly-empty hallway as the second period school bell rang. “Tiffany mentions a note and then I just happen to find one in my locker? This is obviously her trying to scare me… but it’s not gonna work.”
Ignoring the ominous note, Noel drank another shot of unicorn tears.
After checking to make sure he turned invisible in the boys’ bathroom mirror, Noel entered Tiffany’s science class.
Messing with pencils, papers, and calculators were a cool trick. But a prank involving glass beakers, lab equipment, and chemicals would be epic.
Noel spotted Tiffany’s desk, not too far from the doorway, as she threw on her lab coat and protective eye glasses.
Walking over there, Noel meant to disrupt her station when an eerie whistle sounded behind him. He jumped and quickly noticed that nobody else did, including Tiffany.
Can no one else hear that? Noel thought. He spun around, faced with a gaunt man dressed in tattered cowboy clothes perched on an equally-emaciated horned horse blocking the doorway.
The Whistler.
Noel expected some kind of reaction from Tiffany and her science classmates but they were preoccupied with their school work.
Only when the science teacher Mr. Diaz arrived, passing through the undead cowboy and his cadaverous unicorn en route to the lab, did Noel get a bit spooked.
The Whistler brought a skeletal finger up, pointing directly at Noel. “Use unicorn tears once and I’ll get your scent, use unicorn tears twice and I won’t relent.” His deep voice made the glass beakers in the lab vibrate.
Still, no reaction from Tiffany or the science class.
Weird… those are the same words my locker note had, Noel thought. He kept the Whistler in his line of sight, zeroing in on the creature’s skull head—that followed him everywhere—and the two gaping nose holes making loud sniffing noises. Red dots embedded in the Whistler’s eye sockets peered into Noel’s soul. As the creature got closer, Noel couldn’t believe his eyes: Poking out of the Whistler’s rib cage were what looked like bony fingers.
Nevertheless, Noel was determined to finish his prank, regardless of the consequences. He couldn’t afford to waste any more time when his invisibility could wear off at any moment.
But as soon as Noel reached Tiffany’s desk, the Whistler clicked his tongue, urging his undead unicorn to ride on. As Noel looked up, the two were heading towards him at full speed.
Noel weighed his options: Would the Whistler hurt him or pass through him like Mr. Diaz? At the last minute, Noel chickened out, dashing through the doorway and sprinting down the hall with the Whistler in hot pursuit.
While Tiffany and the rest of the school went about their usual day, Noel dodged the Whistler, moving from building to building.
“This has been such a great adventure,” Noel said, giddy with excitement. “It’s like my favorite comic book come to life!” He ran past the swimming pool area, bumping into Coach Boone.
“No running in the hallway, Noel,” he snapped.
Noel waved his hands in front of the swim coach’s face. “You can see me, Coach?”
His invisibility must’ve worn off and the Whistler was nowhere in sight.
“Of course I can!” Coach Boone swatted Noel’s hand away. “Which reminds me, there was a blue dye incident last Friday with the swim team; I was told you’re responsible…”
“Have no idea what you’re talking about, Coach.” Noel backed away slowly. “Besides, that prank took place at the butt crack of dawn, have you ever seen me at school before nine a.m.?”
Coach Boone stroked the stubble on his chin. “Come to think of it, no.”
“Well, there you go.”
As Noel bent around the hallway corner, he ran right into Tiffany and the swim team.
“I told you your silly pranks would come back to bite you, Noel.” Tiffany crossed her arms. “And that day has finally come.”
“Oh please! Coach Boone just cleared my name.” Noel grinned from ear to ear. “But if you really think I’m guilty, then you have to catch me.”
“That shouldn’t be too difficult,” Tiffany said with a shrug. “Every school exit is blocked; you can’t leave without running into one of your previous prank victims who are all dying to see you get your comeuppance—myself included. School president does have its privileges.”
Noel smirked. “So, what you’re saying is… the only way to escape would be if I were invisible, right?”
“Hmm, not exactly the reaction I was expecting.” Tiffany raised an eyebrow. “But okay, sure.”
While no one was looking, Noel snuck to his locker and drank the last of the unicorn tears. Turning invisible, he successfully slipped out from the school, undetected.
Unfortunately when Noel arrived home and entered his basement bedroom, the Whistler was waiting for him. “My unicorn’s tears have been shed for the final time, as only when invisible can I punish you for your crime.”
Hearing this, Noel’s green eyes widened. “Those were your unicorn’s tears? I didn’t know! That witch girl made it seem like it was hers. That’s not my fault, why should I be punished? I’ll just wipe it off, okay? No need for punishment.” He scrubbed his freckled skin raw with a towel but his attempt to get the unicorn tears to wear off faster were to no avail.
Cracking sounds rang out in the bedroom as the Whistler’s rib bones broke loose and separated from the center breast bone. Noel’s feet were rooted to the shaggy carpet; his leg muscles tightening to the rhythm of the veins pulsing in his neck. The rib cage flew open like a Venus fly trap snapping Noel out of his haze who dashed for his bedroom door.
Inside the Whistler’s rib cage something glowed, yanking Noel backwards—the suction too strong and too powerful for him to escape.
Noel screamed and held onto the shaggy carpet as his gangly legs lifted into the air. The Whistler’s rib cage sucked him into its undead bones before the creature’s torso sealed itself shut, entombing a horrified Noel inside.
As the skeletal unicorn rode away, Noel gripped the rib bones of his perpetual cage, his hand’s skin, muscles, and tissue faded away, revealing his bones underneath; eternally fusing him with the Whistler.
A prank legend indeed.
This is fantastic, Avi! Love the new details you added, especially the description of Noel disappearing.
Such great feedback, Michelle! Can't wait to work on these! Love the tip about foreshadowing Tiffany's plot to get Noel trapped by his own prank victims, so clever! Also, love that the Whistler came out as I envisioned (scary af indeed). And don't worry, if my revisions go well, he should appear in 2 more future short stories. As for his own book idea, perhaps I should write an origin story to use as a reader magnet?